Now, on to my ‘life changes’. As I said earlier, I have put a lot of thought into this. Not because it is a new year, but because lately I have discovered some things about myself that I am not happy with. I believe there comes a time when you need to sit down and address the things that are not working in your life and correct them. This also allows you the chance to fix the things that adversely affect those you are close to.

Some of these changes are easy to spot – you notice that your favorite jeans no longer fit. Others require you to look at or listen to those things in your life that mean the most to you. Still others require you to look inside yourself, to the deepest, darkest regions that only you know exist.

On the obvious side, I would like to increase my physical fitness level, and eat healthier. Now, I am not totally out of shape, but there is always room for improvement. Last year I ran in three 5K races, and finished with respectable times, the best being 31:15. Plans for this year include running in a 10K race, with my sole purpose of finishing. I recently started a work out program that I do 2-3 times a week. Once nicer weather returns to our frozen landscape, I will be back out there running. In the meantime, I have started running 3 days a week on the treadmill.

I have also started improving what I eat. I am not really an unhealthy eater, but there are always ways to improve. A reduction in carb intake, combined with the increase in physical activity will go along way to meeting my goals.

As for changing the things that are ‘not working’ for me, I plan to start by acknowledging past mistakes and taking responsibility for them. This will allow me to move towards my goals without carrying excess baggage or any regret. I hope to avoid getting involved in things that have no substance, and are irrelevant. I plan on not becoming part of something that is not who I really am.

On to ‘looking at and listening to’ things that matter. I think it is important to realize that, even though we have reached adulthood, we do not know everything, or have all the answers. If we did, what fun would life be? We (especially me) need to understand someone else may know what is the best course of action, or know the answer to that all important question. Maybe they have been through the same situation.

I remember while I was growing up, my parents often said to me things like ‘you’ll get over that girl, it just takes time’, and thinking that they had no clue. Well guess what? They were right. As a teenager we did not think that our parents understood us, let alone were fit enough to give advice.

Over the past six months or so, I have become aware of some things that someone tried pointing out to me. I now understand that I did not grasp what I was being told. Either that or I was too stubborn to acknowledge the information. It was only over time that I became aware of these things, or more likely, I became receptive to them. I can now truly say “I get it!”, and believe me it is nice to be able to say that. I just wish that I could be quicker at getting some of these things – it would make life easier and more enjoyable. The strange part is these things where there the whole time, I just need to ‘look’ and ‘listen’ to find them.

When it comes to facing the things that we keep in the deepest, darkest part of us, people are a little more hesitant to discuss them, cautious even. It’s like in the early 1850’s when Dr. Livingston was exploring the Congo. That region of the world had been seen by very few people of the ‘modern world’. No one new what creatures they would face, or what perils awaited them. After all, it was called the ‘Dark Continent’ for a reason. Facing the things that hide deep inside of us is kind of the same thing – you do not know what to expect. You wonder how family and friends will react to the thoughts, feelings, and ideas that only live inside you. You feel that you need to lock these away. Releasing them by bringing them into the light and discussing them sounds like a scene out of a horror movie.

What people need to understand is that these things need to come into the light. This is the only way end the destructive and debilitating effect they have. If these things are affecting your relationships, or your personal enjoyment of life, then you need to slay them, only then can you continue to grow and improve. The first step is to talk about them, keeping them hidden gives them control over you. Just like the vampire who flourishes at night, but wilts and dies in the sun.

I have come to understand this, and will make a point of openly discussing them. With perseverance, and the changes I am working on, I hope that I can make my life, an the lives of those around me, much better.

Well another year has ended, and a new one begun. 2008 was not a bad year for my family and friends, but I hope for better in 2009. To help that happen, I plan on making a few changes. I wouldn’t call them New Year’s Resolutions (from here on known as NYR) as I see resolutions as something people make on New Year’s Eve after a couple of drinks, or the next morning (I’m never going to drink again!). Most people make NYR without any real commitment, they know that they will break them in a month or so. For those of you who stick to your NYR, I applaud you, stand up and take a bow – you deserve it.

What I am planning is more of a life change – things that I have put a lot of thought into. Some of you may say that this is what NYR are, but I see it differently. And this is my blog, so that is all that matters, LOL. Before I get started, I need to take care of a few things.

Since December 9, 2008, seven more Canadian soldiers have been killed while serving in Afghanistan. I would like to take a moment and acknowledge them. May they rest in peace.

101. December 13, 2008: Corporal Thomas James Hamilton - age 26, married, one child, 2nd Royal Canadian Regiment was killed by a roadside bomb.

102.December 13, 2008: Pte Justin Peter Jones – age 21, G Company, 2nd Royal Canadian Regiment, was killed by a roadside bomb.

103.December 13, 2008: Pte John Michael Roy Curwin – age 26, married, three children, 2nd Royal Canadian Regiment was killed by a roadside bomb.

104. December 26, 2008: Pte Michael Bruce Freeman – age 28, engaged, N Company, Royal Canadian Regiment, was killed by a roadside bomb.

105. December 27, 2008: WO Gaetan Joseph Roberge – age 45, married, four children, Unit, was killed by a roadside bomb.

106. December 28, 2008: Sgt Gregory John Kruse – age 40, married, three children, 2nd Combat Engineer Regiment, was killed by a roadside bomb.

107. January 7, 2009: Trooper Brian Richard Good – age 42, married, two children, 3rd Battalion Royal Canadian Regiment, the Royal Dragoons, was killed by a roadside bomb.

Also over the holidays, my closest friend had a scare. On New Year’s Eve day, he called us at 8:00 in the morning to tell us that he just received news that his 21 year old nephew was missing in British Columbia. Jamie had gone snowboarding on Sunday December 28 at Mt Seymour and got lost. He was not reported as missing until Tuesday December 30 when his vehicle was flagged as being there for two days. Due to the inclement weather, a search was not launched until Wednesday December 31.The day passed with no word from the rescuers, then at 5:45, Steve phoned to say they had found Jamie. He was alive, but no other details were available. It was not until New Year’s Day that we learned Jamie was OK, only suffering from some frostbite. When the rescuers found Jamie, they told him just how lucky he was – when they started out that morning, they all thought they were on a recovery mission, not a rescue mission. From possible tragedy to one of pure relief and gratefulness, all in the matter on 24 hours. How quickly things can change. I would like to take this opportunity to thanks all those involved in turning a possible tragic situation into a joyous celebration. Thank you.

I am short on time, so I will write another post shortly about changes I want to make in the new year.